Read more about the Dendy screening
When asked why he had made this film and why now, Ian Darling described his experience in filming the documentary OASIS in which he heard many stories of abuse and neglect that he was unable to film but which he believed needed to be told. Polly and Me is an amalgam of many such stories.
Some viewers of the film may be disturbed by what seems to be the mother’s failure to care for her daughter. But the larger message Ian Darling sought to convey, one that was reinforced by panellist Celia Lashlie (social commentator and author of the forthcoming book The Power of Mothers: Releasing our Children), is that we need to find ways to support mothers in raising their children. As Lashlie contended, every woman, no matter how much adversity she faces, “dreams” that “one day she will do it differently” and that her child will have a better life than she has had.
Panellist Dr Lance Emerson (CEO, Australian Research Alliance for Children and Youth) emphasised the importance of engaging the community at all levels in preventing child abuse and neglect, rather than expecting the government alone to be able to effect the necessary changes in a top-down manner. He invited the audience to resist the temptation to “distance themselves” especially after seeing a film in which the abuse seems extreme.
Professor Ian Hickie (Executive Director, Brain and Mind Research Institute, University of Sydney) concurred, reminding listeners that “it’s never too late” for someone’s life to turn around, especially in cases where those in crisis are supported by others. Professor Hickie pointed out that once people become deeply isolated from sources of support, recovery can be very difficult. In contrast, “people who’ve got people stick it out”.
Reinforcing this message that people need other people, Celia Lashlie offered insight into the subtle ways in which those who are marginalised become increasingly isolated and how even well meaning people reinforce this isolation by turning away–metaphorically and literally. Giving the example of a simple supermarket encounter, Lashlie encouraged her listeners not to look away from a woman who may be dishevelled and down on her luck but instead to smile so that she knows she is neither shunned nor invisible.
Lashlie credited Lou’s Place with countering this terrible isolation – offering women in need somewhere to go, to be safe and to be seen.
All three panellists agreed that child welfare affects all of us and depends on all of us. Preventing abuse and neglect is as much a grass roots project as it is one that government can achieve. In answer to the question how to foster a grass roots approach to prevention, Professor Hickie and Dr Emerson both stressed the importance of education about what counts as abuse–from more subtle cases of emotional neglect on up to physical and sexual abuse–and they emphasised the value of early intervention within the community well before a child comes to the attention of DOCS. Celia Lashlie reminded each of us to do our part even in small ways, asking the audience not to be silent but rather to “start the conversation” about the problems of abuse and neglect. And she reminded her listeners again to smile in the supermarket.
Jennifer Byrne, who had deftly engaged all the panellists throughout the evening, wrapped up the discussion with the question of what organisations like Lou’s Place can do. Ian Darling suggested that Lou’s in conjunction with other organisations could provide a “compendium of care” that helps foster and maintain “a community where everyone cares”. In a similar spirit, Lance Emerson concluded with a plea not to lose sight of the big picture, asking us all to “be brave and define what kind of society we want”.
We at Lou’s Place believe that providing a safe place for women is a vital element in creating a caring community for all, both now and in the future. In opening our doors every day, we operate from the conviction expressed by Ian Hickie early in the evening that it is never too late.
